I love electronics. If it has an apple on it, I’m buying it. I like the latest and greatest. When Apple has a new conference I am waiting on pins and needles waiting to find out what the new product will be. I don’t care if it is a new iPad or simply a new operating system. I have been known to set my alarm for 1:50am so that I can be logged on and buy a product ::::coughipad2cough::: that will go on sale at 2am in my time zone. My one downfall is gaming. I have been known to enjoy a fun game of hula hoop on the Wii or a dance off on the Kinect. My problem is I can’t actually do either of those things unless my daughter or husband get the system turned on and ready to go. I don’t have an honest gamer bone in my body. My husband and daughter are the complete opposite. They love gaming. We own 2 Xbox systems (3 until one died via the red ring of death which around here you would have thought was worse than the Black Plague) and a Wii. We have the Kinect, Wii Fit board…you name it and we’ve got it. We have a ton of games. 99% of which I really have zero interest in knowing the name of let alone play. I blame it on the original Nintendo. We got one when I was in 3rd or 4th grade. I’m 32 so you can figure out that it was a long time ago. Not too long ago, you know, cause I am only 32. Anyway….yeah, original Mario. The kind where you blew on the end of the game and then inserted it. Old school before it was old school. I never beat that game. Sure I rocked at Duck Hunt but I never could beat Mario. I gave up. Who knew it would mean I would lose any interest in gaming for the rest of my life. To me it isn’t a big deal. To my husband and daughter it is like I’m unAmerican. As a side note, I do like playing Angry Birds and various slots games on my iPad, iPod and iPhone so in my opinion I’m not totally against gaming.

Every spare minute my daughter has she will hop on the Xbox. She has marching band from 8-11:30am, 1-4:30pm and 6-8:30pm every single day this summer. On her dinner break this evening she started to play a game while I cooked dinner. Why do chores or clean her room or play with her brother or do something useful during her break when she can play the Xbox? Clearly I’m insane to suggest such things. I have had to ban certain games being played on the downstairs TV while my son is up. Some games use some really fantastic language. The super fantastic language that you pray your 4 year old never utters but he will when you are in public, winning you the most awesome mom of the year award. The winner starts with F and rhymes with duck. I don’t really rate one swear word worse than another but people in public tend to disagree. The F word seems to get more disapproving looks when shouted by a 4 year old than any other word. :::shrug::: The straw that broke this mama camel’s back was when K let C play a game and I saw him beating a woman to death on the street with what appeared to be a 4 foot long purple dildo. I tend to think not much shocks me but that did.

So, back to K. She was playing a game as I cooked dinner. I had a few minutes while it cooled down so I walked into the living room. On the couch C was sitting right next to K while she held the controller and they both were staring intently at the screen. When I looked at the screen I said words I never thought I’d have to say, “Are you learning how to pick a lock?” Yes. The answer was yes. My 14 year old and 4 year old were learning how to pick a lock on the xbox. Skills only a criminals mother could love. If I don’t win 2012 Parent of the Year I’m going to be pissed.