Nothing says rockstar like a 4 year old in the back of a Target cart, strumming his cereal box guitar and singing at the top of his lungs. He likes to put on a show and entertain everyone, regardless of if they want to be entertained or not. The problem is that he never picks up the lyrics of good wholesome songs. He picks up the lyrics of songs that are guaranteed to make all the shoppers around you submit your name for the Worst Parent of the Year award. It’s real so don’t think it isn’t. You just, clearly, haven’t been cool enough to be told about that particular award yet. :::ahem::: Yeah, so…….back to Cooper and his cereal box guitar. Every time I told him to sing a little lower he’d sing louder. I was beginning to wonder if I should ask him if he knew what the word quieter meant. Sometimes you think your children know stuff when they really don’t, like when I told him to behave but he had no idea what behave even meant. No wonder he looks at me like I’m smoking crack sometimes. I would have been fine with a rousing rendition of Row Row Row Your Boat or even some Fresh Beat Band songs. Hell, I’d be down with some annoying Yo Gabba Gabba songs. Cooper, the sweet little angel of a child he is, decided to belt out Whistle by Flo Rida, word for word. He even included his 4 year old whistle, which is mostly just high pitched screeching because he can’t whistle, for the listening pleasure of those around him. If you can, picture a sweet faced, white haired, blue eyed, adorable little boy sitting on bottled water in the back of a Target cart, strumming his pretend guitar (which is really a Chocolate Cheerio box) belting out at the top of his lungs: 

can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
let me know
girl I’m gonna show you how to do it
and we start real slow
you just put your lips together
and you come real close
can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
here we go

No one else really needs to compete against me for the coveted Worst Parent of the Year award cause I got this shit in the bag. 

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