Today started crappy but I hope it ends good. Today my husband was supposed to be home but he isn’t. No clue when he will be. We are all bummed. I, also, got bad news this morning which really didn’t help anything. First he went to the bathroom and came out. He knew I was upset and wanted to hug me. I squatted down so he could hug me. He grabbed my cheeks so he could kiss me and talk to me.

C: I love you.

Me: I love you too.

C: My pee is hot.

Me: You mean your penis is hot? What did you do to it? (Valid question since he is constantly checking to make sure it didn’t fall off.)

C: No, when I was peeing I touched my pee and it was hot.

I froze. He was touching my face still.
Me: Ummmmm, I didn’t hear the water. You remembered to wash your hands right?

C: No.

Me: Did you use sanitizer? Sanitizer is good but you really should have washed your hands.

C: No I didn’t use sanitizer.

Me: ::::slowly pulling his hands off my face:::: You didn’t do anything?
C: No. I came to hug you.

Me: OH MY GOD!! GO wash your hands!!!!

Gross. I know. He had his penis touching pee touching hands on my cheeks. I was properly grossed out.

After he washed his hands and we talked about that I put Super Why on television for him to watch while I spoke with my husband about some bad news I got. After hanging up with my husband C came up to me and said he had a bead in his nose. I was all WHAT?!?! Then I yanked him by the window so I could examine his nose. Then I freaked out. He had a bead in his nose and it wasn’t at the end. It was REALLY in his nose.

Me: Blow your nose!

C: ::::sniffle in::::

Me: NO! BLOW your nose! Blow out!

C: :::sniffle in::::

Me: C! Blow your nose so we can get this bead out! Blow it OUT!

C: ::::sniffle in:::::

Me: Why did you put a bead in your nose?
C: I don’t know. :::sniffle:::

Me: STOP sniffling! It is going to go further in! Blow OUT! Out! NOT in!

Then he started to cry which made his nose run and he sniffled even more. This continued for 20 minutes. It involved more of me asking why he would put it in his nose of all places. It was terrible. Right as I was about to call it a day and go to the doctors office I had a stroke of genius.

Me: C. I need you to blow your nose, not sniffle. Blow it like you are an elephant.

Voila! Bead out.

I don’t even know where he got the bead from. I’d like to say this is a first. Well it is a first for the nose. On Tuesday during t-ball practice he put dirt in his ears. Both ears. I caught him putting it in his ear and then turning his head to watch it fall out. After his bath it still took me 6 q-tips to gently work it all out. After the bead came out we had a serious talk about not putting anything in our noses or ears. Fingers, dirt, beads….nothing.  I should have included his mouth in that talk because I caught him putting a penny in his mouth about 5 minutes ago. A penny! For pete’s sake! Not only could he choke but do you know how many germs are probably on that penny? :::::shudder:::::