Jack has been fun so far. C is really into finding where he is and what he’s been up to every morning. I know some people move their Elf on the Shelf around during the day or at nap time. To them I say quit being Elf on the Shelf overachievers because you are making the rest of us look lazy. I take naps seriously. Even though C is 4.5 years old he still naps. I still nap with him on weekends. That means I don’t have time to find some place for Jack to move to. I’m napping….which is important! I once had pj’s that said “I ❤ Sleep”. Truer words have never been spoken. One of the reasons I don’t want another baby ever, aside from my husband getting the ol’ snip snip, is because baby’s are notorious for not sleeping. Same reason I won’t get a puppy.

C doesn’t get candy all the time or really very often. He’s got enough energy for 10 people so he doesn’t need the help of sugar or soda. He is allowed to have stuff once in a while. With Jack being here I’ve found the easiest thing to do is leave candy out. C thinks Jack is ah-ma-zing. The best thing since sliced bread wine in juice boxes Magic Mike yogurt in tubes. What 4 year old wouldn’t like a magical elf that brings candy you can’t normally have? The problem is I have to, then, leave something for K. Yeah, she’s 14 but she’s quick on to hop on the “Why does he get it and I don’t?” bandwagon that rolls through ever so often. By ever so often I really mean every freakin day.

Here is Jack, his 2 bff’s and two big Hershey Kisses. C was quick, too, once he saw the big kisses. I hadn’t even got bowls out for breakfast and he’d already eaten half! At like 9am!! I barely had my eyes all the way open. He said they were both his but I had to stage a sugar rush intervention and tell him to bring the other to his sister.



Last night Jack decided to get crafty.

photo-19Who are the people making the gingerbread houses on the box? Hmmm? I am crafty. I can make shit. Give me some supplies and a little bit of time and I’m like the MacGyver of crafts. Martha Stewart has nothing on me. But these houses? No ma’am. They are impossible. I planned it out. I was going to copy the design on the box. I started at the bottom and worked my way up so I wouldn’t mess up the top trying to reach the bottom. I had the candy lined up. I dug to the very back of my pantry where baking goods go that I only use once a year (which is pretty much anything you bake or cook with. haha). I was good to go and eager to start. I could feel the crafty in my bones I was so ready.

Gingerbread houses are hard. Really effin hard. Sure, I may or may not have had a few Appletini shots but really…..it was hard. The picture showed an awesome house with ‘snow’ carefully hanging from the roof. A lovely door lined with candy. Expertly decorated windows. A ‘stone’ path made of gum drops. It was amazing and I just KNEW I could do that. I could do it and I. Could. Do. It. BETTER! Except when I realized I couldn’t.

drinkingHere you have Jack drinking frosting. He was drinking because neither of us knew that a gingerbread house was going to kick our ass. I drank booze shots water. Jack, also, may have had a stomach ache due to eating candy and licking frosting during the ‘why the eff is this not working’ stage of the build. :::shrug::::

Due to Jack’s love of sugar I agreed to let the children decorate cookies. Mostly I did this because C wanted to eat Jack’s gingerbread house. Jack did not work that hard all night long just to have some kid come up and eat it! The nerve! Now I know how the witch felt in Hansel and Gretel. Who eats someone else’s house?

Ummmm….yeah. So, originally I had intended to make sugar cookies. After the whole gingerbread house fiasco I decided to save those for when my mom gets here. I’m sure she knows how to do that whole making cookies thing. I’ve never been successful at making dough you roll out. I am successful at buying some kick ass mustache and ninjabread men cookie cutters. I can only be awesome at so many things at any given time. Due to the lack of awesome in the dough making department I bought pre-made cookie decorating kits at Target. I’m no fool!



These are C’s cookies. Sure to put you in a diabetic coma just in time for the holidays! He’s such a giver. cookie2You are probably wondering what C is doing here. Let me put your curious mind to ease and inform you that he is sucking frosting out of the packet. At least Jack had the decency to use a straw!